While I did met Jürgen (he is from nearby Austria) several times in the past, I never heard about this incident. Obviously gossip is a double edged weapon. Jürgen never appeared to me as someone who means bad, but he appeared somewhat naive to me (and very active, which – combined – is a recipe for trouble), so this lady may have persuaded him to ‘defend HER reputation’ against your word (which will obviously have more effect) as a kind of a pre-emptive strike (good strategy though…).

I do not think that in the tango world this incident would cause much stir. I do not know what gossip was spread all over, but I can’t think of a viable situation where you would slap that woman without her initiating the assault first (at least verbally or emotionally) Hitting a woman usually translates as: abusing physical strength and/or emotional connection. In this case the slap could be returned by a kid, so this was definitely no abuse, you did not beat her up. There was no emotional connection either (and should there be one: she is almost likely to be at fault too as men may not answer their emotional/verbal abuse in kind – that is pretty general according to literature on domestic abuse).

It appears to be a clean cut case of an abusive women (which according to studies is the root of most cases of male violence against women…). The same thing was done to me by a lady almost exactly (fortunately not in the open) same way, but she was a close friend and there were a lot of emotional stress involved. In that case the slap back was a sort of a release for both of us (also, I am about the same strength and size, so there was no disparity). I didn’t feel guilty about that single slap (which she retaliated the same way as you described…the reaction seems to be universal… ), most women said that I should have done it earlier… LOL

Anyway, a complete stranger walking up to me and assaulting me (woman or not) would probably end up worse than in your case and I would definitely press charges just to make sure there is an OFFICIAL version of the event, so she hopefully never comes back even near a milonga I attend. There should be a line and this is not the world anymore where poor weak women are powerless to defend themselves against the ‘evil’ men, especially not in the open, not in the US and not when they initiated the attack against a complete stranger…

IMO Your public status makes the whole thing even _less_ important as for most people (who were not present), it is your word against hers. I bet she is known to a lot less people than you are, so those few who spread gossip only creates generate interest (who said “there is no such thing as bad publicity”?), rather than ruining your reputation. Especially, that in this part of the planet, your reputation lies mainly in your dancing which had nothing to do with this…

All in all: relax, nothing happened. I usually perceive smaller public attacks against my reputation (in my country) a lot larger, and most people just consider it soap opera material and they do not really make any conclusions as to my personality.

Cheers,

Aron
Budapest, Hungary

Un bacio e tanta energia positiva. A presto

Deb

I do think that celebrity in a field does bring it’s hardships-think of the inhumane way that photographers hound celebrities. It’s like they are creatures in cages there only for their amusement and entertainment. Someone’s persona or character they may be known for on a stage, or movie screen cannot be how they are judged in real life. It may be dead on accurate, but don’t they deserve the chance that anyone else in life does to make an impression?

Unfortunately they lose this when they achieve fame. It’s hard to fathom what they go through at times. I laugh when I see some celebrity hit a very agressive photographer in an airport or elsewhere. If it was some random person it wouldn’t be a big deal, and I’m sure that the person wouldn’t be attacked afterwards for defending themselves.

I personally believe in someone’s right to defend themselves. I remember a combat training instructor at Fort Eustis made a very good point that whether or not he’d been given permission, if he’s getting shot at-he’s going to shoot back. He might go to prison, but at least he’ll still be alive.

It probably would have been the best thing if he just walked away, or probably not even gone when he was tired-most people go to dance… but we do the best with what the situation presents.

This makes me more aware the pressure they must feel all the time, and how much stronger they must be in themselves to survive. Also reminds me how generous and giving some of them I’ve been fortunate to have met are!

Probably best to be thankful and appreciative of the ones who’ve been patient with you, taught you, or danced with you, and let the rest be and just say thank you to them. Maybe learn a few good take-downs….

The habitual double-standard here is applied again and again: We just won’t allow ourselves to think of a man as a victim, in our “made in the USA” politically-correct stereotypes, even when attacked in broad daylight (or in dimmed lights of the milonga, as the case here may be) by a malignant narcissist in whose mind anything is justified to boost her societal “status,” including hitting and kicking and otherwise assaulting a star. Men or women, we really dance what we are, our very essence as a human being, and in this respect the dance floor is a microcosm of the society, where we put our character under a magnifying glass of a partner dance, that shows our true colors. Prominent in NY tango circles (notorious for low standards in dance skill development) is the power struggle for “prestige” and place in the dance “hierarchy.” While most women and men are seeking harmonious unity with the partner and music, there is a whole bunch of women out there (you all know who they are) whom a friend of mine labeled appropriately “hot-shot bitches wonnabees:” They have little chance of reaching the status of “hot shot bitches” of Tango by developing their dance skill. Rather—they find it easier to manipulate the public perception of their skill: First and foremost they are hell-bent on being seen dancing with the pro’s. Ninah Beliavsky is but one of them. She’d simply not miss a chance to show up on the floor to show the world her “splendor” even if she has to make a scene and force a professional to dance her clumsy arse. A hot shot b-ch wonna be would threaten to make a scene, make a scene, or pretend to take a lesson “right here and now” on the milonga floor by paying the pro to dance with her. She simply cannot miss a chance to show the world that she’s with the Gods of dancing and the rest of them are unworthy of her time. Never mind that most of the Gods work many hours a day on their dancing, since age 3 or 5 and throughout their dance careers. Other young wonnabees offer sex in exchange for “private lessons” at the milongas, as is a well-known case with one of the older male instructors here in NY, whose dance skill is otherwise questionable. It is an old, tried and tested ploy of a malignant narcissist to show the world her “true splendor” and what the rest of them, males in the ranks of mere mortals are missing. Her prestige shoots through the roof (at least in her mind), and she acquires a greater choice of desirable partners and affords herself a terrific opportunity to stroke her malignantly inflated ego – all with a minimal effort and no dancing skill to show for it. This way she does not need to learn to dance, she “got it made,” without having to work for it.

Blaming it on the man is an old and tired tactic of the arrogant NY feminists. Being a woman is not a license to bother a celebrity, insult, slap, kick and hit. Ninah Belivsky is not a tiny, frail, “innocent” woman or a victim of any kind. She is athletic, goes to the gym and hits hard; and she does not take NO for an answer. She knows what she wants. She works hard on upholding her “reputation.” She puts out on YouTube any chance she gets to be seen with a pro. She’s ambitious and smart, and she stops before nothing in achieving her goals. Some of us, women, do not buy the nuevo feminist hogwash, and take responsibility both for our actions and our successes. But we achieve it all the old-fashioned way – we work for it, and we acquire true skills in the process. We do not blame our male partners for our own shortcomings. At least we try to give in dancing as much as we take. We take no shortcuts. We do not manipulate, or at least try not to. We do not offer sex in exchange for private lessons. We do not take our “private” lessons to public milongas, or pay the pros to dance with us in public. We do not speak on behalf of all women, all Russians (as Ninah did, unjustifiably) or all anything. Let’s stop applying a double standard here: aggressive, abusive, and assaultive women like herself are every bit as dangerous as hooligans among men. Not only physically. She’s sophisticated and shrewed to manipulate public opinion by putting out lies. Thank God there was no more dangerous weapon at her disposal at that milonga than a wine glass, or she would have used it, self-reighteously, rested assured she was justified because she is… a woman. Being a woman is not a license to assault, verbally or physically. Had she put her hands on a wine bottle here rather than just a glass of wine who knows how far this could have gone. Such women have real problems that they must deal with. She’s a menace, otherwise, to anyone she comes in contact with, male or female. All else — in my assessment — is pretty much political hogwash. The victim here is an unsuspecting star dancer and instructor attacked out of the blue.

Best,
Anna

Human behavior never ceases to amaze me. I am very sorry to hear of this
This to me is the saddest part: …”such a violation of my privacy”…
It’s a violation of you as a human being, nobody has the right to demand anything of anyone, nobody has the right to invade your soul.
Those who thing that have such right have historically been called… “Dictators”.
I could go on and on with this one thought, but I’ll leave it at that.

Hope to hear from you soon Pablo, It has been about 7 years since I last saw you…
All the way from Tampa, Fl…all my love