Posted on Facebook by Pablo Veron at 3:20am 11/9/09 regarding the All Night Milonga in NYC on 9/12/09:
This is Pablo Veron. I know much time has passed since the incident but I feel that some things need to be said to clarify about the incident at the All Night Milonga.
Initially I was not going to respond to these false and unjust accusations, I did not want to fan the flames of this kind of energy. However, I do understand how there could be confusion over the sudden aggressions that occurred that night.
I am concerned that many people were left to wonder what took actually place and what my role might have been.
So now, after much reflection, I am giving you my account in hopes that it will give some clarity to this awful situation.
I feel there was much misinformation and lies being spread about what happened, by the aggressor (she will be referred to as NB) and her friends Jurgen Pilcher and Isabelle Segal Roger. All of them are people that I never met before in my life. Jurgen and Isabelle did NOT see anything, they only have the distorted version NB told them. They could not swear to their story because they did not witness it. They are on a determined attempt to make me look like the bad guy for reacting after NB first harassed and then assaulted me. I do not know the motivation these people have for trying to destroy my reputation and my work. It is certain they are hypocrites to talk about civility and good manners. I can only think they try to make themselves look more important or get free publicity. This time I am their target in the need for attention but if the situation allows, I am sure they would do it to anyone. Their attempt to boycott my work and dirty my reputation is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
It was a Saturday night, I finished a whole day of workshops and I was exhausted because I took a plane at 5AM from LA the same day. I went anyway to ANM to enjoy the company of a few friends that insisted I go and relax a bit, talking and dancing. So I was sitting with my friends in the corner and that woman (NB) came at me from across the floor with the purpose that she must dance with me. She could not accept I did not say yes, even with her aggressive way of asking. One could hardly imagine she’s so sophisticated and elegant like Jurgen says, with her red scarlet dress, walking hard toward me through the middle of the floor where people where dancing, Interrupting abruptly the conversation I had with my friends, she spoke loudly and rudely to me, asked if I was Pablo Veron and said that she wanted to dance.
My instinctive self protecting reaction was to say “No, I’m not” and my friends start to say the same, that I’m a guy that looks like him. They had the feeling right away that I was embarrassed and felt in a very uncomfortable situation. She ask me for lessons and I say that tomorrow, Sunday, I’ll give a workshop, she could consult with Karina Romero, the organizer. She says, “No, I want a lesson now, I want you to dance with me now,” and I explained to her, traditionally, in tango that it does not work that way, and Rosa also made an intervention saying so as well. She says, “I am from Russia and that’s the way it works in my country,” and just kept insisting saying “I’m here to dance with you, come dance with me now” using her finger in a very offensive manner to describe the way I should come from my chair to her.
At this point I suggested she to go to her table and to think about how she should invite people to dance. She says that I did not want to dance with her because I am an egomaniac, self centered, selfish and a f-ing pig. Seeing that the situation she was creating was just stupid, and believing that we become what we create, from my thoughts I murmured that she was stupid. Putting on incredible face of witch, she slapped me with no hesitation. Seated and with my back to the wall with nowhere to go, my automatic and reflexive reaction was to slap her back in defense. Immediately after, I regretted my reaction and wished I had found a different way to deal with all that.
She started to make a big scandal, coming to me again and again, trying to kick me 5 times aiming between my legs where it hurts a man the most. Beating me, while I was trying to stop her with the internal decision of not engaging her anymore. I had help of some people just after 2 or 3 eternal minutes. I believe that the show was so shocking and pathetic that nobody could react, staying frozen without believing their eyes.
Finally, some people stopped her and she went on dancing as if nothing happened, but for the clear hate expression in her face.
After few minutes, I was still stuck in my seat trying to realize such a violation of my privacy, such a free public aggression. Apparently she (NB) wasn’t finished with her theatrics. She came at me again with a full glass of red wine in her hand. I did not see her coming in fact it was Rosa who told me she’s coming back. Then she threw the glass at me and my friends and others sitting there. I immediately went to the front desk to ask to call the police because that was too much. My friends and whole bunch of people that were disgusted, suggested we leave and that was what we did.
The day after I woke up and I had the chance of believing for a few seconds that everything was just a bad dream. It took me several days to digest the facts, and to tell the truth, I’m still affected.
I think about the situation, the very urgently way she asked me to dance, then the order she gave me to dance, the demanding tone of the voice, the fingers gesturing, the insults. The turning point I realize was when I answered her insults, causing her to hit me.
Once a human being passes the line of the minimum respect, it is dangerous because the aggression escalates very quickly. She crossed the line many times in just a few minutes, she was out of control. I do not know myself, but I am told she has antecedents of this nature. She is known for being obsessed with professional tango dancers and has maltreated other dancers. Jurgen and Isabelle had nothing to do with the situation and did NOT witness what happened. They too have crossed the line in trying to damage my reputation and my livelihood. They have being banished from several milongas in NYC, because even if the truth moves slower than lies, most people know now what really happened.
The point here is not about that a man does not have to use violence against a woman, but rather there is no violence to be used. Ideally not making war in the world, but more concretely, not in a milonga where we go to have fun. What about the equality of the sex? It means that a woman has the right of hitting a man because she’s the weaker sex? It means that a man has to control his temper but a woman is allowed to show her anger with violence? It means that I have to say always yes, because I’m known, to any invitation no matter if it is demanded of me in an arrogant way by a woman I never met?
Never has anything happened like this in 22 years working in cities all over the world. Returning over and over to the same places where the people I work with have become friends. Where the people keep working with me because my professionalism and my behavior and because I bring well being, understanding, clarity and love to all the ones that want to evolve inside this magic dance.
Is not a man full of hate, like Jurgen, that will destroy with lies a solid reputation made of work and love! He and Isabelle manipulate the public perception by the way of internet. They have distorted the facts to defend the malicious actions of their friend and they have used my name in a very obvious way to get attention (jurgen just opened a milonga!). Is just unbelievable that being harassed like this, being the one who has been assaulted, some people pervert the facts in order to make me appear like a monster…why? What is the interest?
I do not ask, like they do, for a public apology, even if I’m the one who has been assaulted and then internationally slandered through the internet. But I do ask for discernment, lucidity and for help against people who try to defame me with no reason. Anyway, even if I m not there to defend myself, I believe the situation is becoming clear through the testimonies of people who actually saw what happened.
In response to Isabelle’s open letter to me, I will say that she is writing about an event that she did not witness ( and knows no truth about.) She is falsely spreading lies and a twisted story that is worse than the magazines that make up lies about celebrities. Magazines are held in account for their actions, but she and Jurgen seem(s) to think they are free to attempt to destroy a reputation without having witnessed the event in question. It is so miserable, so pathetic, and so sad for me because NYC is the city that I love the most in the world, and so many people I love and love me, know that.
I have to say it –, I do not see myself like a celebrity at all. I don’t like people seeing me that way, I never looked for fame, it is just not my dream. I’m a worker, I like people and I love tango. That is why I am a teacher going around the globe sharing humbly what I have learned, trying to add some clarity about this passionate, deep and complex dance. But after these events I start to realize the potential danger of being exposed to the provocation from the malice that some people have for you, because you have achieve some things, like being in a film.
I would wish I had the inner peace to say just thank you to all her verbal and physical assault. I wish that it never happened, but it did and the tango community should know the truth.
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{ 11 tango-induced comments… read them, love them, and add your 2 cents! }
Sometimes we are in the wrong place at the wrong time but we should never let other people’s demons become our own. When you and I met for the first time for my first lesson with you this weekend in Buenos Aires I did not tell you that I had heard of this incident.
But for me it was not worth mentioning. Because the most important thing between you and me, or between you and any other friend, family, or stranger, is the commitment to truth, respect, and love you bring to that moment and to that person. Like you reminded me during my tango lesson, you must allow yourself to turn off the noise in the brain, the worries, the regrets, and live each moment in the most beautiful, honest way possible.
We don’t have much time in this life to waste. And in each moment it’s only this moment that matters. Yesterday is the past. We all make mistakes. But the best reaction is only to try to improve in the future and don’t waste more energy regretting the past.
Those who love you will always support you. I am only a stranger to you but I felt your sincere respect and desire to help me with my dance. For that I thank you and can appreciate you for your goodness. And I am sure there are many, many more in this world who love you solely for the good person that you are.
Movies don’t make people special. It is because of your goodness, Pablo, that you are a superstar.
Y nada mas. Te mando un abrazo grande!
~Tammy~
I thought that people spreading rumors at work because they have too much time on their hands was bad. I don’t understand that mentality at all. Its like they got stuck in middle school. Still a better way to deal with the situation would have been to call the police when the lady slapped you rather than slap her back. Its difficult when a situation is escalating and people are so infuriating though.
I agree that women should not be allowed to slap whoever they feel like just because they are women. Also, men should have the right to refuse to dance with someone the same as women do.
Sorry you are going through this.
What a terrible, awful situation. I would have slapped her back too. I am a woman, and I see nothing wrong with returning a slap with a slap – a harder one indeed, but that is not the most civilized way to act, it just shouldn’t get any worse rap than a woman slapping a man.
It is indeed unbelievable to imagine the whole event. I have yet to have the pleasure of attending your classes or meeting you, and I can only hope that you can put the awful situation behind, for she is not worth a second of your thought, and most most MOST CERTAINLY, she hardly deserves a tanda from Pablo Veron.
Thank you for sharing. All my best.
Today I was remembering how I started with tango, wrote that on my profile, because it was with your film that my interest was born ….
Searching for your next visit and workshop I discovered your article and hopefully I am sure that this will not play a big role in the memories of it all together. In the yin yang symbol there is always a black point in the white and opposite, if you do a lot of good things, the day will come that the black point arise although it is not your fault you can not avoid – law of nature – on that planet – the white is much bigger to look at ….
Love and hugs,
You really do good work – not only tango but for humanity -
I appreciate very much.
Great words, “the truth moves slower than lies”.
Reminds me of the saying, “a lie will go round the world while truth is pulling its boots on’
Mind if I use those quotes? They’re wonderful!
Actually the quote is from Winston Churchill,
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on”
Hello Pablo,
Hope all is well
Hans
This is a very sad indeed. Air is better from a higher altitude then the stench that hovers around our our feet. Live above it… move on… end of story.
Do not give it oxygen to expand… Wishing the best for you in the future. Hope this incident is all behind you. Last thing i want to say it never pays to respond in violence… hardest thing to do is show self-control and walk away but the shame and embarrassment would have been on her and those who conspire dark things than you. You live and learn so keep your head up and draw something creative and expressive in the tango from the experience.
Now, that would be a great thing!
Hello Pablo…It’s been a long time…
Human behavior never ceases to amaze me. I am very sorry to hear of this
This to me is the saddest part: …”such a violation of my privacy”…
It’s a violation of you as a human being, nobody has the right to demand anything of anyone, nobody has the right to invade your soul.
Those who thing that have such right have historically been called… “Dictators”.
I could go on and on with this one thought, but I’ll leave it at that.
Hope to hear from you soon Pablo, It has been about 7 years since I last saw you…
All the way from Tampa, Fl…all my love
What happened at the All Night Milonga really puts to fore some very important ideological issues that traverse Tango dancing. The “opinions” expressed thus far seem to be split clearly along the “party lines,” in utter disregard of what actually happened. So much so, that apparently, some “well-meaning” feminista went as far as to put out a fake apology, presumably by Pablo Veron, even despite the simple fact that he is a real victim here and has absolutely nothing to apologize for.
The habitual double-standard here is applied again and again: We just won’t allow ourselves to think of a man as a victim, in our “made in the USA” politically-correct stereotypes, even when attacked in broad daylight (or in dimmed lights of the milonga, as the case here may be) by a malignant narcissist in whose mind anything is justified to boost her societal “status,” including hitting and kicking and otherwise assaulting a star. Men or women, we really dance what we are, our very essence as a human being, and in this respect the dance floor is a microcosm of the society, where we put our character under a magnifying glass of a partner dance, that shows our true colors. Prominent in NY tango circles (notorious for low standards in dance skill development) is the power struggle for “prestige” and place in the dance “hierarchy.” While most women and men are seeking harmonious unity with the partner and music, there is a whole bunch of women out there (you all know who they are) whom a friend of mine labeled appropriately “hot-shot bitches wonnabees:” They have little chance of reaching the status of “hot shot bitches” of Tango by developing their dance skill. Rather—they find it easier to manipulate the public perception of their skill: First and foremost they are hell-bent on being seen dancing with the pro’s. Ninah Beliavsky is but one of them. She’d simply not miss a chance to show up on the floor to show the world her “splendor” even if she has to make a scene and force a professional to dance her clumsy arse. A hot shot b-ch wonna be would threaten to make a scene, make a scene, or pretend to take a lesson “right here and now” on the milonga floor by paying the pro to dance with her. She simply cannot miss a chance to show the world that she’s with the Gods of dancing and the rest of them are unworthy of her time. Never mind that most of the Gods work many hours a day on their dancing, since age 3 or 5 and throughout their dance careers. Other young wonnabees offer sex in exchange for “private lessons” at the milongas, as is a well-known case with one of the older male instructors here in NY, whose dance skill is otherwise questionable. It is an old, tried and tested ploy of a malignant narcissist to show the world her “true splendor” and what the rest of them, males in the ranks of mere mortals are missing. Her prestige shoots through the roof (at least in her mind), and she acquires a greater choice of desirable partners and affords herself a terrific opportunity to stroke her malignantly inflated ego – all with a minimal effort and no dancing skill to show for it. This way she does not need to learn to dance, she “got it made,” without having to work for it.
Blaming it on the man is an old and tired tactic of the arrogant NY feminists. Being a woman is not a license to bother a celebrity, insult, slap, kick and hit. Ninah Belivsky is not a tiny, frail, “innocent” woman or a victim of any kind. She is athletic, goes to the gym and hits hard; and she does not take NO for an answer. She knows what she wants. She works hard on upholding her “reputation.” She puts out on YouTube any chance she gets to be seen with a pro. She’s ambitious and smart, and she stops before nothing in achieving her goals. Some of us, women, do not buy the nuevo feminist hogwash, and take responsibility both for our actions and our successes. But we achieve it all the old-fashioned way – we work for it, and we acquire true skills in the process. We do not blame our male partners for our own shortcomings. At least we try to give in dancing as much as we take. We take no shortcuts. We do not manipulate, or at least try not to. We do not offer sex in exchange for private lessons. We do not take our “private” lessons to public milongas, or pay the pros to dance with us in public. We do not speak on behalf of all women, all Russians (as Ninah did, unjustifiably) or all anything. Let’s stop applying a double standard here: aggressive, abusive, and assaultive women like herself are every bit as dangerous as hooligans among men. Not only physically. She’s sophisticated and shrewed to manipulate public opinion by putting out lies. Thank God there was no more dangerous weapon at her disposal at that milonga than a wine glass, or she would have used it, self-reighteously, rested assured she was justified because she is… a woman. Being a woman is not a license to assault, verbally or physically. Had she put her hands on a wine bottle here rather than just a glass of wine who knows how far this could have gone. Such women have real problems that they must deal with. She’s a menace, otherwise, to anyone she comes in contact with, male or female. All else — in my assessment — is pretty much political hogwash. The victim here is an unsuspecting star dancer and instructor attacked out of the blue.
Best,
Anna