It is impossible to explain the Tango addiction to those unfamiliar with it, and unnecessary to do so for like-minded tanguero spirits. I remember clearly my conversation with a Seattle milonguero about Tango in America, during a short vacation to Emerald City recently.
It started with a simple question from me:
“So why do you think Argentine Tango hasn’t taken over America yet?”
“Tango? Take over? No way!”
“Why in the world not? You know, like football or bowling or even yoga for God’s sake. Surely, Tango is the most beautiful of them all.“
“Tango will never be there. It’s too nuanced, too challenging, and too difficult.”
No doubt it was hard to argue with him – especially considering that yoga is so close to my heart – but, that is exactly why Tango appeals to you and keeps you coming back to it. You crave something that pushes your limits, a journey that is never quite finished and always feels as though it just started, something that raises your imagination and tugs at your heart in a new rhythm every time.
You lust after something that leaves no room for forgiveness when infrequent practice makes you rusty, and yet something that rewards you in small, albeit unforgettable, doses in due time.
Maybe, just maybe, you secretly like the idea of having this hobby that many of your friends, family, and even life partners and children continue to be baffled and amused with. It all still leaves me wondering how everyone out there cannot become hopelessly addicted to the magic of Argentine Tango!
But, addiction is a strong word, one with negative connotation with the notion that one needs to be healed of it through treatment and abstinence. If you have an addiction, do absolutely nothing about it! Live it up and, as Mari Johnson emphasizes, let it be your natural state.
From my heart to yours, here are some humbling lessons to keep your addiction going strong, healthy, and smart:
Lesson #1: Politics Be Damned
All Tango communities are bound to have it. Some are worse than others. At times, Tango politics put all other politics to shame. Most, if not all of it, is unnecessary and won’t matter one bit six months or a year from now. Sometimes, I wonder why we can’t just get along and dance.
It’s not a marriage.
It’s just the Tango we are here to do. So take it from me and stay away from the politics!
Lesson #2: Lovingly Ignore Gossip
The Tango gossip can be tempting and juicy. It makes the wine taste more delicious and the waiting in between tandas far more exciting, but do keep a lid on it. Be respectful, be gentle, be kind and ignore what you may not like. Some people will be your true friends, and some will be envious or keep a distance.
Flow with all of it, be grateful for the friends, be kind to rest, and turn a deaf ear to distasteful gossip.
Lesson #3: Take Instructors with Much Gratitude and a Grain of Salt:
I’d love to think that all Tango instructors know exactly what they are teaching and make no mistakes, but they’re human and are being generous with their time in a business that is not rolling in the dough. While a poor and ego-filled attitude is intolerable to me, it’s important to remember that this is supposed to be fun and learning. If you are not having fun, switch instructors. Take it all in with a grain of salt. Move on.
Just keep dancing and do not become cynical.
Lesson #4: Appreciate, but Manage, Your Partners:
Who would not want a Tango maestro in their embrace and at their beck and call? One of my favorite all-time instructors, Luciana Valle, told us to look around the room during a workshop years ago, and then added (I paraphrase):
“This is your community, these are your dancers, these are your options, so help each other become good dancers.”
While I do not advocate dancing with someone you do not like, finding tact in handling the lesser favorites, and being kind, yet selective, makes for the most rewarding Tango experiences. You can learn from the master as well as the beginner.
The greatest mistake I ever made was to temporarily walk away from Tango for a combination of reasons above. All of those reasons were to my disappointment, fluid and fleeting, and the only unchangeable fact was that my love of Tango suffered. So, for your sake or Tango’s sake, refuse to let anything disappoint, offend, humiliate or affect your love of Tango and your intention to dance it.
Putting up with a little nonsense affords you far more Tango memories than regrets can ever hope to match.
About the author: Farnoosh is a patient grammarian with a love for personal expression and an inquisitive mind, which she explores on her blog, Prolific Living. Follow all her Tango and mental inspirations at http://www.prolificliving.com.
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{ 8 tango-induced comments… read them, love them, and add your 2 cents! }
thank you for this lovely article. it is very positive, and reminds us to focus on the best we have…
-justine
Farnoosh,
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Miles.
Beautifully expressed post filled with wonderful (and timely) advice. I’ll be passing this on!
Farnoosh,
You have a beautiful philosophy of life; therefore, a beautiful philosophy of tango. Thank you for sharing!!
I am so touched by all the comments. Pete was amazing to work with, and his editing helped tremendously. It feels wonderful to have made a connection with all of you through these messages, all of which I truly believe. Tango on
!
Great post! Thanks : )
One should always pay it forward in Tango and share what you know. Try to avoid Egotistical teaching. Our communities are often small and we need to encourage newbies, not drive them away. Remember the neophyte you are dancing with was once you!
Great article.
Love it, and that was a very moving story “Pay if Forward”. Thank you for sharing those beautiful thoughts!