by Sara Prince
Awesome tango moment
He asks you to dance! And then… there you are on the dance floor, standing face to face with your partner. You are both completely focused and enjoying every delicious wave of music, and yet you remain still in a closed embrace taking in the subtleties of each other’s weight changes.
Suddenly, on beat, he moves and you are swept away. You lose all sense of what steps are what, the music escapes you, and who knows how many people are in the room, even! Through him, the movements, and the music… you dance together in a connected, private embrace.
Guys, how does that make you feel?
Exhilarated or just pressured? I can only imagine (especially if you are a beginning leader) that it is frustrating to the extreme. I mean, I’ve tried leading… and it’s really hard to create that special moment for your partner! A week ago, I led my sister for the first time. I honestly thought it would be a snap as gorgeous music began playing over the sound system. I tried to imagine I was guiding her across the floor when, in fact, I was actually pushing her around like a cart of potatoes along a gravel road.
It took a split second for me to react to the music, another to interpret it, a third to decide how to lead my sister and a final split second for her to respond to my lead. How many split seconds was that, again? Plenty enough to be way off the rhythm of the music and for me to develop the beginnings of an ulcer.
But guys, here’s the silver lining!
For us ladies, it’s not WHAT you have us do; it’s how you ask us to do it. You ask us with your confident, balanced walk. You ask us by enjoying the music (unless it’s terrible, then who cares!). And you ask by simply enjoying us. Remember, we’re right there with you, worrying as much as you are about being perfect! We really are partners in crime on this journey together…
Also remember, we get frustrated – but about different things. You see, as followers, it’s difficult to relinquish our unique physical responses to the music. But if you give us a good strong lead and keep us connected to the music through your own interpretation of what moves you, we might just be willing to do it your way…fancy footwork or not!
Personally, it’s hard for me to give up control as a follower. But I’ve spent years as a solo dancer and that means I’ve often had to perform to another person’s interpretation of music. In this way, I’ve learned to follow the tango lead. I pretend my partner is the choreographer and so I follow him attentively, as though I am the one who is outwardly presenting the art he creates. The downfall is I can’t listen to the music fully as I dance (which kills because the music is so beautiful!). I am aware that it is there, but my focus has to remain solely on my partner. Not a bad deal for you, eh guys?!
What this all means is that we have to trust you to communicate the music directly to us. And how, you ask? You do that with the simplest of leads… the walk. How you walk, your posture, and how you hold us communicates what you feel for the music makes and it makes all the difference. Don’t worry about the fancy patterns. If you can give us the dance, we will perform it just for you. And that is tango at its best!
Sara Prince spends her days happily choreographing dance in VA while wishing for the school semester to end. If she plays her cards right, she gets to tango, too…
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