A recent post on The Happy Self.com by a rambunctious 21-year-old made me think about what the perfect tango mindset should be. Here’s how Dayne sums up his post:
Abandon All Hopes. Say Goodbye To Positivity.
Identif
ying yourself with anything is limiting yourself. Just do whatever you do, and do it with your total being and with all your heart. Total abundance will follow. Your results will be limitless, just like you are. There is no need to put in effort in changing your thought patterns. Embrace this moment totally and everything will become effortless!
Sounds like an excerpt from the Tao te Ching or any book in the self-help section of your local bookstore. But, is it the key to improving your tango dancing by removing mental hurdles?
Practice Tango When You’re Fatigued
Let’s journey back in time three months ago when a serious case of fatigue drags on for over a week and sucks the life out of me. My perception is a total blur and my body tricks me into sleeping all day. Coincidentally, the Wednesday of that week marks a tango lesson I almost talk myself out of attending. I’m glad I push through, though.
The mystery fatigue also subdues my ability to daydream and be witty, I discover, as I find myself actually listening to every word my teacher says during the lesson. The results from my fatigue-induced attention span astound me! For once, I’m attentive and focusing on my posture and partner and nothing else.
Instead of judging my mistakes by comparing them to past accomplishments and present goals, I simply notice when I fumble then repeat the movement until it’s right.
No judgments. No anxiety. No doubt.
What can you learn from my experience?
Read Dayne’s Article and Make it Work for You
How much better would you dance if your mind shut up for a second? Is this what your mental whispering sounds like…
Am I relaxed enough?
Is my partner enjoying dancing with me?
Am I going to run into anyone on the dance floor?
It’s hot in here. Am I sweating too much?
Am I slouching?
Is my backside sticking out too far?
When your mind asks you silly questions like these, your focus disappears. Frustration then takes over because you don’t meet the expectations you’ve set for your dancing ability. If you’ve ever tried to think positive as a means of ignoring the negative thoughts that distract you, you probably discover that the mind still ends up thinking more about the things you tried to ignore in the first place.
It’s odd, I know, but you’re setting yourself up for failure in many ways. I insist you read Dayne’s article and apply the concept of present thinking to your tango training and social dancing. Do you agree with his thought process? I’m interested to know what you think. Please do comment, and, be positive! What… Seth Godin?
Keep dancing,
Panayiotis Pete Karabetis
Create a short list of your personal mental whisperings that take place when you dance tango. Most times, these thoughts will be negative and counter-productive to achieving your goals. That’s okay.
Knowing your most recurring thoughts will help you recognize them when they pop up while dancing so you can quickly disregard them and focus on the present moment to make progress. Try it!
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{ 15 tango-induced comments… read them, love them, and add your 2 cents! }
I always enjoy your posts – but this one is brilliant and spot on! My best dancing seems to be at the end of the milonga when I’m so tired I can’t think anymore about how I look, whether I’m doing everything right etc. Every time I’ve missed a class, I’ve regretted it. Anytime I catch myself thinking, I don’t feeling like going to the class/practica/milonga, I remind myself that that’s probably when I most *need* to go.
Mari, (may I call you stunt legs?)
Should we call this phenomenon last call Tango?
In these rare instances of exhaustion, the energy you use to keep the mind racing seems to be directly linked to being self-conscious. Remove that source of energy and BOOM – performance goes through the roof! Funny how that works, eh?
Best related advice I ever got came from a skating coach before a competition. “Skate stupid.” I got 2nd place!
Same idea for dance – it’s just a matter of turning off the brain. Insomnia works too. But I don’t recommend that 
Good stuff! Tango – like pretty much everything I do – is better the less my mind is involved, the more my presence is engaged.
I’ve started to write about my tango experiences at http://www.hanspetermeyer.wordpress.com
chau… h.
Thank you for the comment and nice hat! Consider me a new reader of your tango experiences, Hans.
My plan is, “follow more, think less,” and it works.
Would you be offended if some of the ladies in my home town stole your plan? I know I wouldn’t
I start to think ah this feels right I think I’ve got it and then as soon as I think that it all falls apart. Definitely need to learn not to think at all. Great advice, harder said than done.
I wonder if the tango academics who tango with mental-stress instead of their hearts and sexual desires are good lovers? Does anyone think there is a correlation there? I think there is.
I wonder if the tango academics who tango with mental-stress instead of their hearts and sexual desires are good lovers?
Elaborate on that, please. I think those who allow a stimulus to go into their heart and through their heart to produce a response usually have fuller lives. Those that keep information circulating in their head could possibly end up as stress-balls that slow down the dance floor (of life).
I have been dancing for over 10 years. And my best dances are when I have 2 or 3 glasses of wine. Totally relaxed. Totally centered. Totally grounded. And totally daring.
@Z,
You should be exempt from all breathalyzer tests on the way home from your dances for the valuable dance experience (service) you provide!
No worries Pete. I always get a ride or walk home since all the milongas are very close to me. By the way, where do you dance? How often do you go out to dance? Are you addicted as I am? I am out dancing every night.
The Milongas in Baltimore are at least a 30-minute drive from where I am and DC takes at least an hour. It’s worth it though because, yes, I am addicted as well.
I haven’t been in a couple weeks because my hip injury is acting up, but I’m venturing out to Philadelphia tomorrow to explore a totally new Milonga! I practice about 3 times a week and trying to get out at least twice a week to dance. Scheduling is always tricky.
I turn off my brain and turn on my body to be in tune with my leader………..and it has caused me to be complimented by great leaders who have danced for years, stating they thought I had danced Tango much longer than I have! I know the thought that some may be thinking but it is true that your bodies have to be in tune to each other to make the melody sing!